I am single and a very independent person. I tend to go by my own rules when it comes to what I want for myself and what I want to do. I feel like when you are in a relationship, you tend to forget you have independence and start to depend on the other person. I am also afraid to love, which is weird because I am a very lovable person, but when it comes to a boy I really have feelings for, it scares me so my instant reaction is to push them away. 

I lost someone I really care about because I was insecure about my feelings, which was my first love. I pushed him until he was miles away. I still care about him and I feel like I will always love him and every time I see him I will feel does damn butterflies. He has obviously moved on and I wish him the best, but like I said he was my first love so I will always have those feelings towards him, which sometimes I will admit hurts.

Being independent isn't the only reason why I think I would struggle in a relationship, but also my fight towards my well-being. Recovery is tough and more when depression sucks you in and you find yourself crying at the edge of your bed for no reason or you get the thought that self-harming may take the pain away. I have to fight for myself. Be happy for myself. Get an education for myself. And I feel like destiny will bring someone to me when it knows I am ready to take on a relationship. It may be tomorrow, in a week, in a month, in a year.. who knows? But for now I am simply enjoying, whether is going to the zoo in a banana shirt or simply being by myself painting on a canvas. I just want to tell all the single ladies or girls that it's okay to be single, take this time to really find yourself, love yourself and build confidence, so when that dream boy comes along he knows how lucky he is to have you.

Remember you are strong, powerful and beautiful.

PS: This message can also apply to boys!

x x